Recently I have heard the phrase "all in" a few times. All in? What does that even mean? How often are we all in when we say we are? How often do we keep enough of ourselves back that we won't be exposed entirely if it doesn't turn how out we hope or plan?

Have you ever gone swimming in the summer? If you live in Australia, it's a pretty regular occurrence. I have noticed that there are two types of people, there are the ones who are 100% committed. These people are there to swim.
They get to the pool, chuck their stuff down on the ground, they run and launch straight into the water.
It doesn't matter what temperature the water is; they didn't check it anyway. It doesn't matter who is watching; they don't care how they look.

Then there is the other type — my People. I inch my way in, inch by inch, I test the temperature, I think about how cold it is, I get used to one level. Then I get in a bit further and then some more. I fully intend to swim; I plan to be all in. Sometimes even though I have good intentions, I never actually make it in. The longer I stand there, the colder I get, and I lose the battle in my head before the physical experience of swimming has happened.

Being all in is a mental thing, We have to deal with the situations that hurt and work through the pain of past failures and things that didn't work out quite the way that we thought they would. If we don't do that, we get in our own way, and before we know it, we are the person standing there up to our waist in the water, frozen, watching someone else enjoy the full experience.

The ending of my first marriage was brutal. It ended painfully, and I was emotionally broken with a newborn to raise. I decided that the way to avoid that kind of pain was to never go all in with a single relationship in my entire life again. It wasn't necessarily a conscious decision, but I did it

Guess what! It doesn't work. We were made for connection. When you live a life behind walls, you engineer the rejection you are trying to avoid in the first place. I told myself I was happy, I said I was strong, but you know what? Living without connection isn't strength; living afraid to be seen isn't brave. To be clear, I am talking about healthy relationships here, not abusive or unhealthy relationships.

We are made to connect with people. It goes both ways; we need to be willing to see people as they are and accept them. We need to let them see us as we are with all our imperfections and flaws. Bringing the walls down was one of the hardest, bravest, most terrifying things I have ever done, and I am so glad I did it.

I had a shop quite a few years back. We ran it for two and a half years. We brought it to life from nothing except concepts in our head and when it closed, it hurt. It shredded my soul, to be honest. I poured my heart and everything within me into that place.

This past few weeks, while I have been working through this concept of all in, God has been challenging me about some things to do with writing, photography, oils, and dreams for the future. He has whispered into my heart that I can't fully commit to the new if I haven't completely dealt with the old. I have had to ask myself if I am really all in right now? And my honest reply has to be no. I am in up to my waist because it is safe. It is comfortable. I can do it without committing wholeheartedly.

I want to be so far out there that I can't see the shore anymore. I want to be swimming in the deep end, not able to reach the side of the pool. I want to be the person who chucks their stuff down on the ground and jumps into the water. Life is meant for living all in, all in with people and relationships. All in with dreams, all in with the work it takes to build your business. Over the last few weeks, I met with an author I know about writing a devotional, I published my first series of blogs on the 1079 Life Website and committed to weekly blogs, and I started the process to return to either Uni or Tafe on a part-time basis. What small steps can you take this week towards being all in?