Confidence is a funny thing.....when we have it we can conquer the world, when we don't have it we approach things differently, we are intimidated and scared to step out into new things. So many times, I have looked at someones photography and watched them do things I am not brave enough to do and thought, wow I wish I had their confidence. It talks about confidence in the bible, in Hebrews 10 verse 35 it says - Therefore do not throw away your confidence which has great reward. This verse suggests to me that we do have a choice, even when life beats us down.

I have spoken before about having seizures in my blog, recently I had a seizure with a little bit of a difference unlike the last one, which happened due to me forgetting my medication - this one has a possible cause, but no definitive answer. In an instant, my confidence took a beating. I went from being confident and happy to be out in public, secure in who I am to being intimidated. My mind started to play the what if game, what if I have a seizure when I am at the top of those stairs, what if I have one at church when everything is quiet? What if people find out and look at me differently? What if I am not the same person now? What if people think I am not capable? I could literally drive myself insane with these questions. So I have decided that I am moving on and stepping out and not throwing away my confidence. I am going to be who I am and not live in fear of the what ifs.

The thing that has caused you to throw away your confidence might not be a seizure or a health issue. There are so many things that happen in our lives, that lead us to throw away our confidence in who we are and what we can achieve in our lives. It can be the voices that people have spoken over you, the things that have been done to you, it can be the negative influences of people who are supposed to love and support you. We can't control all of the things that happen to us in our loves and sometimes we can't control our reaction or the effect that it has on us, but we can control how we move forward. If you are in a situation where you feel no hope at all, please get some counselling and help. Allow people to speak positive things into to your life, that will help you grab your confidence and move forward, one centimetre at a time some days.

There is a quote by Toby Mac that I love,

"Don't let your struggle become your identity"

My struggle is something that I have gone through, or something that I wrestle with, it doesn't have to be who I become. I am not a seizure waiting to happen, or a financial struggle or low self esteem. I am not a victim. I am strong and brave and amazing and I am taking my confidence with both hands and moving forward into the things that God has for me in the future. Look around you at the good things that you have and make a decision to grab hold of your confidence.