It's funny how we have certain ideas in our mind about God's provision and what it should look like....or maybe that's just me. I have this idea that when God provides for me, everything is wrapped in a neat little bow. Sometimes I approach it as if I am issuing a to do list to God. Then I get frustrated when my idea of provision and God's don't quite match.

I was made redundant at the beginning of January. Of course I issued God with my to do list based on what I needed. It went something like this, "Ok so God, we have this much in savings so I will need a job by this date earning this amount of money because otherwise the money will run out and I don't know how we will live"

Now as I am writing this, that sounds ridiculous. I really did put a box around my expectations of how and when God would provide. Fast forward three months and I do not have a job. It's not through lack of trying or applying. Not only that, the Corona Virus has decimated the economy so jobs are harder to come by.

It would be so easy for me to say that God hasn't provided. He hasn't provided me the job I asked for. He hasn't done what I told him he had to when I issued the to do list. In fact to be honest, I am fairly sure I may have said that or something like it during a low point over the past three months.

What these three months have shown me, is that while God doesn't always provide what I want, the way I think it needs to be provided. He does provide for my needs. My husband and I can say that even though I am not working, we have not missed rent once. We have been blessed time and time again from unexpected sources. We have never gone without. God has provided over and over and over again.

I know for sure that if God had just followed my plan - I might have a job now but I would not have grown at all. If God had worked it all out the way I expected, I would have continued along taking for granted how truly blessed I really am. I am learning daily the value of gratitude for the small things. I am daily being reminded that he is my source.

God's provision may not always look the way that we think it should. That doesn't mean that the way that he provides for us is not the best way.