The F word.....

So when you saw this title, what did you think? The obvious connotation here is the F word is negative. For me the F word in question also has negative connotations. It has limited my life in so many different ways. Because of this little four letter word, my life has taken a different path than it may have if I had been able to conquer it and push through. I have learned many lessons from the path I took, which all have valuable meaning in my life today. Nothing is wasted and for that I am thankful. If you haven't already guessed, my F word is fear.

If fear is something you struggle with - I think all of us do on some level - for some of us it is crippling and life altering, like it has been for me, for others it is a minor irritation that annoys you from time to time and then you push through and move on. I thought I would include a few things that have helped me along the way and a few lessons I have learned from my experiences.

1. Identify the fear. There is actually fear that we need to listen to. The fear that something dangerous is about to happen, the fear in an unsafe situation, the fear that warns us on the inside that something is not right with a situation and we need to step away or remove ourselves from it. To not listen to that fear is foolish and that kind of fear has saved me a number of times. If you feel something isn't right, it probably isn't. The fear that has most challenged me in my life is fear of failure - the kind of fear that tells you you aren't good enough and fills your mind with what ifs - what if everyone laughs at you, what if they all think you are weird, what if you step out and fail? That kind of fear is the fear that we need to learn to silence. This year has been a massive learning curve for me and a massive step of faith in stepping out and believing that I can do it and I can silence that small voice that tells me I am no good. A good rule that has worked for me is to run through the logic of the statement. Is it truth? Is there any truth in the fact that everyone in the world will laugh at me? Another thing that has worked for me, is to work through the what if in a logical way, what if I step out and fail? WELL? What if I or you or anyone steps out, gives something a go and fails? I have learnt from personal experience, the fear of failure is actually far worse than the actual failing and to be honest, you cry, grieve over it a little or sometimes a lot and pick yourself up and keep going. Every single failure in my life has taught me an important lesson. Every single failure has given me something to avoid next time I try that thing, or a better way to tackle it

Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.

2. Giving up is the worst thing that can happen to you. If fear overcomes you and you give in to it, that's ok, but make sure it is only for a time. Don't let the fear stop you from doing what you know you are called to do, from what you can't stop thinking about every waking moment. For those of you who don't know my story and might be thinking, well, it's easy for you, you have probably had it easy....well in some ways that is true, the first twenty years of my life were relatively issue free - after that however, sometimes it appears to have been one challenge, drama, disaster after another. The one thing that I know for sure is that if I let those things define me, if I let them stunt my growth and stop me from facing fear and moving through it, then I would have missed out on the lessons I have learned, I would have missed out on the people that I have met, I would have missed out on the path that I have taken. I did not go to uni when I left high school, it was a moment in my life where I let fear drive my choice and the fear of the unknown led me to make a choice that changed my life. Last year, almost twenty years later, I tackled that fear head on and enrolled in a Tafe course to complete my Diploma of Photographic Images. Was I scared? Sooooo scared, actually terrified, but I pushed through it, I overcame it. Every time the fear threatened to run me over, I prayed it through and I stood firm on the fact that the truth was I could do this, I do have talent as a photographer, I am capable, and I can do anything I put my mind to. I graduated the year with a distinction for my final folio, a brand new camera that I won through a student survey and a new sense of who I am as a person and how much I can achieve if I put my mind to it. I have some amazing new friends from Tafe and I have learnt so much.

3. Overcoming that fear and pushing through is one of the most satisfying feelings that there is. To be able to stand there and look in the mirror and say to yourself, wow, I was so scared, but look what I did. It gives you a sense of security and a willingness to tackle the fear head on next time you feel it. To be the best us that we can be, sometimes we need to just keep going. We had to do an oral presentation at Tafe. I have a fear of public speaking, so for me, this was the ultimate test of how far I was willing to push myself. Not going to lie....it occurred to me more than once to go, I am out, I am done, this is too hard. I discovered that for me in this sort of situation, the best way to tackle the fear was to be prepared. I studied my subject to death, I rehearsed and worked it through and then repeated the process, until, the fear of failing and of public speaking were at least diminished enough for me to be able to do the presentation. Was it the most polished speech ever known to man? Nope, Was it the best presentation the Tafe lecturer has ever seen? Nope. Does any of that really matter? No, it really doesn't, because for me it was one of the best memories of my time at Tafe.

I am continuing on with my journey, sometimes it is the scariest thing I have ever done, at times it is peaceful and calm. The important thing is that no matter the season, no matter where you are at, that the steps you are taking are moving forward. One step at a time is all it takes. One step and then another and then another. Before you know it you will be amazed at how far you have come.